* ALL OF THIS MAY BE A LIE
I've always wanted to be a man,
I was raised by a man,
I competed with men,
But, all of this may be an illusion.
I hate being a woman,
I hate that my skin can bruise easily,
I hate that I bleed regularly,
Before, I hated women,
But, all this may be a lie.
As a teenager I was ashamed of my sexuality,
I was scared of being aroused, even by a thought,
I hated schoolgirls who ended up tossed from one boy to another,
Like some flesh,
Legs held apart, on some boys’ back,
But maybe, I was just being jealous.
I think of O,
Passivity, degradation, subjective annihilation,
I think of Justine,
Endless protests to her moral indignation,
I think of me,
Self-satisfied disturbia, self-caused frustration,
Oh, and can it be that I fear the most of being a woman.